Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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