I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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