Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
