This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
