You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
At least life still wants to fuck me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
