True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She needs sedatives and a leash
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
