I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The air taste purple.
Randomize
