Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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