How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
