looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
