You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you had me at cake vodka
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
