Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
