Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
