I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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