Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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