His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
