apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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