You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
