We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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