I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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