Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
