I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
