is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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