So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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