you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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