i jhust puked up my retainher.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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