So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
