how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
