belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I will be naked everywhere
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
