The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
