He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
