In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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