well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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