Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
