I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
