Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
