hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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