Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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