arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
