I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I need to calm my uterus...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
