We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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