You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
