The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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