i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
