don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
