are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
