So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
