I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
