I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
