dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
