so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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