he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
