We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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